silently strong but deals with problems in an emotionally concealed manner

For many years, not so far, my silence concealed the pain.  So many sleepless night, fruitlessly waiting in vain, wandering where to find that one thing.  It is easier to believe that an angel will never open this empty room.  There are too many reasons not to feel enough, memories are consoling my soul somehow, but still can someone fill the copious space.  Such a lovely life to end, but how long can one hold to a hopeless rope.  I am ashamed to this kind of weakness; oh Lord I need your forgiveness. 

It could all be so simple
But you’d rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces me to scream your name
Then pretend that I can’t stay

It ain’t workin’
And when I try to walk away
crazyt things will make me stay
This is crzay

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can’t be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I’ll let go too
‘Cause no one’s hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you’d be there for me

The world and its own enemies like my life to its own crazy stuff.   The dreamers, all the losers, and to all the sleepers, may you find the eternity, and so for me Within Flame, let it be love around me.  The riddles for all the souls who are waiting, there are "sayings" the Messiah is coming. To my fears and tears so long coz there will be someONE for me. Waiting is a phase of life that is never changing.  My life is amazing and you are exciting. And only a chapter can end this longing, so I wish us all hoping for the next best thing.    

you are one of those things, who will keep me from falling

geisha

i can shout it out loud..pucha, im ok!!! im definitely absolutely happy with my life…really, it s making me crazy but i LOVE it… sometimes, ordinary situation can make u an extraordinary human being. as an individual, life can be very exciting when u appreciate lil thing dat u hav. bwahahahha ala nkong ma say!!!!

meri xmas and hapi new year

I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do, or any
kindness that I can show to any fellow-creature,
let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.

Rediscovering Life!!!

I saw my soul falling in big blue sea… Screaming, calling my name, though I was miles away from it, I still can feel its fear. My soul was begging for help. It was so cold.  After hitting the surface of the sea, the reality sank in. I took a deep breath, and let the water engulf my bruised soul.   Then I heard a loud voice….”lowwen….wake up!!! It was just a nightmare….i thought I will never see my mom’s smile, dad’s eyes, my bros & sisters again, or the light to freedom…. I start asking myself, lousy questions, and then at last I asked my mom why, she told me exactly everything I want to know, explanations that will open my heart to a new dimension of reality.  Wow astig k ma!!! …

am dreaming about having a life…

Oh my I am living with my unhealthy life style!!! Gosh!!! People need SEX pla tlga!!! Heehheh… I just have a very informative discussion last Thursday with the doctors of our company!!! I have learned that once you tried doing it, it is good to continue doin so, just for the sake of exercise. Ngek.ngek.ngek. ala kong ma-say!!!

what an awesome way to express thyself… shout out… it seems to me that i cannot even comprehend how things been goin lately, how technology really works..hehehe how it helps people to get over with their sh!t…hehehe i just know it by one click away…am i too busy thinking about how cool life in 388 BC??heheheh so im in the middle history & future??? ngek… life right now is cool too but how do i live with it?? (bka pro n lng animation pti radiation naku cancer to!!! eheheh eh)… chempre easy lng blog lng ng blog..ngek ngek..tanda ko n ata eh…

VEERED DIRECTION

i saw my own lapses eating me slowly; I felt the roaring wind knocked me down. I struggled with vain hopes in my heart. My soul was out of reach; my companion was nostalgia. I began to build a wall to guard my weak heart, cause I cannot afford to have another emptiness.  Knowing no one can hurt me now, I have become more confident, yet also becoming insensible to life.  A life that I was once dreamed to have. I am not that inert, I don’t despise life, feelings, or enjoyment. I am happy with my life…I keep on saying that cause I know I am.  I just don’t trust my heart.  Now that I want to love someone, now that I’m ready, unfortunately the wall guarding my heart wont allow anyone. My experiences thickened my blood with cold. It ails my ability to be human. I’m looking over the things I have done for myself, now I don’t know if I’m in the right pathway of my life.